I saw this article: “38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand” making its rounds on my Facebook news feed.
My thoughts are in pink. Enjoy!
1. There are some days where it’s so cold you just have to put on a shirt. After now living on the mainland for eight years, it really stands out when I go home to Hawaii how many shirtless men there are… and men of all shapes an sizes too! In Vegas, usually the shirtless men are the ones who have worked really hard in the gym.fuckyeahhawaii.tumblr.com “It’s 70° degrees! I’m gonna get frostbite!!!”
2. Always forgetting to use your kama‘aina discount. Sigh… one of the saddest parts of moving to the mainland is giving up that Hawaii ID. Shhh, I did some illegal activity… when I initially moved, I was supposed to surrender my Hawaii ID at the DMV when getting my Nevada one. I said that I lost my Hawaii ID so I had nothing to surrender. Although it was not a valid form of ID, I used that Hawaii ID until it expired to milk that kama’aina discount when I visited home.
I mean, do places locals really go even take kama‘aina discounts?
3. You don’t know who your cousins are and who your actual cousins are. Sometimes I really miss the whole everyone is related to everyone scenario that exists in Hawaii, but often times, I revel in the anonymity that the mainland provides.
Everyone’s your cousin!
This, of course, includes all your aunties. On a side note, a student at the UNLV Hawaii Club lu’au actually called me “Aunty” and I was shocked! I guess I’ve really reached “aunty”-status.
Your bus driver. Your bank teller. Your next door neighbor’s neighbor’s neighbor. Everyone’s your aunty!
4. That overwhelming urge to defend the miracle that is SPAM. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.
Blasphemy! Spam musubis are a religion.
5. Giving/getting directions is always an adventure. I still find myself telling people to go “up the road” or “down the road.” Although I’m still navigationally challenged, I can say I’ve gotten a lot better, mostly thanks to the evolution of GPS. The biggest trick I used for navigating Vegas is keeping in mind that The Strip runs North / South, with North being Downtown & the Stratosphere being a landmark that you can see from almost anywhere in the city… and South being Mandalay Bay, or if you want to go further south, the M and South Point casinos. The Strip also divides our city into East and West, so everything east of the strip is “East Las Vegas.” This little tidbit of info has saved me on many occasions.
“Okay, you wanna go mauka, and when you get to the third mango tree make a left, you’ll see one waterfall on your right hand side, just keep going. When you get to the menehune at the U-turn, he’ll ask you three questions…”
6. When shipping costs more than the total cost of the item you’re shipping. One plus for living here #luckywelivelasvegas
7. Baked vs. steamed. I don’t cook, so I’m still a bit confused. Just kidding.
You can’t make me decide.
8. Shave ice vs. your indecisiveness. It’s kind of like going to get a manicure & deciding on your nail polish.
SERIOUSLY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.
9. If it doesn’t have rice, then it’s not a real meal. Oh yes. I think I could spend the rest of my life living on the mainland and this one will never leave me. Lucky for me, Las Vegas has lots and lots of rice!
These are the rules.
10. When you haven’t been to the beach since yesterday… I think a tear just snuck out. There is nothing that can replace the beach, beach living, and the attitude that comes from having the ocean nearby.
11. …and then can’t decide which beach to go to. Now, if this is not the definition of #firstworldproblems, I don’ t know what is.
Okay, fine, take it back… we got 99 problems and a beach ain’t one.
12. That said, it is kind of hard to enjoy all of Hawaii’s natural breathtaking beauty…
…when you’re trapped in this all day. For this reason, blessed to have grown up on the Big Island where traffic is pretty much nonexistent and move to Las Vegas, where traffic is also minimal.
Because Honolulu has the second worst traffic in the country, just after L.A. The average driver here wastes 50 hours in gridlock a year. That’s over a week’s worth of surfing.
13. Not to mention gas already costs an arm and a leg and your first-born keiki. All I can say is it’s truly the “price of paradise.”
14. When you can enter to win a free, 7-day, all expenses paid, VIP, luxury vacation for two to……………………………………….…….……….……..Hawaii. Pick me!
15. It can be off the air everywhere else, but here every week is “Shark Week”. Sending love to teenager that was bit by a shark yesterday at Pohoiki on the Big Island. xoxo
16. When you have to call these guys for something… Grew up with watching commercials of these guys and Olive Garden. Olive Garden is finally opening in Kapolei, but for ALL these years, they were just in the business of torturing us with those TV commercials!
17. There’s no civilized way to eat a malasada… Especially the ones that have filling in them!
…or a coco puff.
Don’t even try. It’s physically and emotionally impossible!
18. Anyone dressed in head-to-toe Jeans Warehouse. Fashion emergency is an understatement!
This isn’t just a problem. It’s a fashion emergency!
19. The name of this product. No comment.
So, wait, wait, wait, wait… You put this where?!?!
20. When one of these melts in your pocket.
21. That one Nicki Minaj verse. Sigh, bless her heart.
Because you can’t be “in the islands of Waikiki,” Nicki.
22. Your throat will start tightening up and you’ll begin salivating in 3, 2, 1… My favorite is fresh pineapple with li hing mui sprinkled on top of it. Drool!
23. These stairs are safe, right? I don’t know, you tell me!
24. That Google Maps doesn’t have an “Avoid Potholes” option. Hence all of the big tires and big trucks in Hawaii – so necessary!
Because sometimes there’s a road in our potholes.
25. Your favorite band will NEVER tour here. Ever. Which is why you visit Las Vegas!
Just accept it.
26. When Obama won the presidency, you had to force yourself to be happy for someone from Punahou for the first time ever. Jabs.
It was a struggle.
27. You’re not sure who to trust: Dan Cooke or Guy Hagi? I vote Trini Kaopuiki!
Not that it really matters…
It’s not like the weather ever really changes anyway.
28. This thing called “Hawaiian” pizza. Too funny. I wonder what percentage of those living in Hawaii have ever eaten this.
Are we still calling it that? Okay, just checking…
29. You’ve gotten into serious debates over which Zippy’s is the best Zippy’s. Now Hilo has one to call their own, us proud Hiloans will have a Zippy’s to fight for!
Foolproof BFF Test: If they don’t know your Zippy’s order by heart, then they are NOT your BFF. No exceptions!
30. Your legit ID always gets a harder look on the mainland. How can you not be nice to someone that has a rainbow on their license? I feel like rainbows usually put people at ease.
31. This question on Yahoo! Answers. What?!?! Hawaii is a state?
And let’s not forget the classics like, “Do you still live in grass shacks?” and “What about electricity?”
FUN FACT: ʻIolani Palace had electricity and telephones before the White House did!
Also, yes, you can use U.S. currency here, and no, you don’t need your U.S. passport and power adaptors when you visit.
32. When someone uses “Hawaiian” the same way they’d use “Californian” or “New Yorker”. I swear it is rocket science explaining to people that I’m from Hawaii, but I’m not Hawaiian. Can someone make a t-shirt explaining this mystery because my explaining rarely works.
Yeah, that’s not going to work…
BECAUSE HAWAIIAN IS A RACE.
33. When someone corrects the way you pronounce “karaoke” and “karate”. I think I’ve started saying this like a mainlander too nowadays. Sell out.
Sigh, we’re just saying it right.
34. Or you’re told you pronounce “Hawai‘i” funny. Put this one on a t-shirt too.
Again, not “funny,” just right. We live here. WE WOULD KNOW.
35. But wait, honestly, though – do we really have an accent? So, my pet peeve is when people say they can’t understand me! They take one look at my Asian self and assume I don’t speak English and therefore automatically have trouble understanding me. Aside from this, Hawaii-people say “buffet” totally different from the mainlanders. I get called out on that one from time to time.
Apparently we do say some words like “button” and “candy” kind of weird or something?